Tuesday, June 26, 2012
i'm yours, faithfully...
"having
a gf or bf is not love, but having someone whom even if you hurt them
to the most extreme, they will still hold your hand and say "I WAS, I AM
and I WILL ALWAYS BE YOURS..."
saw this is facebook just now. hmm. will i have someone like that to hold my hand? =(
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4:49 PM
Sunday, June 17, 2012
不行哦?
我也想任性,不能吗?
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6:41 PM
self defence
haiz... stress out again.
after a long day at library, i felt so discouraged.
back to room, sit in front of desk, i on my laptop to watch anime.
dont know is it because of the story or i'm already stress out, i guess is the second one... i felt so sad, and life is so meaningless...
to chase a dream, i took up the hard path.
why would i do that to torture myself? to chase my dream?
i dont know...
i'm nt sure what i want for myself anymore.
looking at my phone, i wanted to have someone to comfort me. anyone.
n so i texted some of them. but i guess my pride is so high that i scared to cry in front of them. in the end, after hang up the phone, i cried.
i was desparately wanted to be comforted, a hug... but none was received.
its so funny... i cried n cried. and i realized, no one is gonna come and save me.
so, instead, i find ways to make myself better, like i always do...
i watched family outing. i laughed so hard that my jaw hurts. i laugh so hard that all the tears were sucked back. for one hour, i just let myself laugh. and i'm better.
washed my face and fight for my dream continues...
i don know what will i feel, when i finally did it...
but deep deep down, i just want a person to be there for me. someone i love and love me back. maybe this is my real dream, accountant is just something i wanted to get my mind off the real one. 'cause, i know i wont realize the real one...
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2:38 AM
Saturday, May 19, 2012
累
日覆一日,精疲力尽的做到深夜。
有时我也会想,自己能这样撑到何时。
即使如此,每天还是会努力重复着同样的工作。
灵魂好像就这样慢慢地消失一样。
即使变得一无所有,仍会坚持守护我的人,有吗?
大概,对自己的一切,已经没有自信了吧。
我害怕,最终,我还是孤身一人。
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3:10 PM
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
What changed me?
Am i being too harsh on myself?
work study study study.
i wasnt like this before. what changed me...
couldn't find a reason to continue work hard.
i used to have a reason to fight...
now i lose the reason.
how am i gonna continue this?
everyone asked me why.
the first time i'll tell them excitedly.
and when time goes by, i got discourage and like a balloon with no air, deflated.
i always find myself finding things to entertain myself, which lead to this comment from my roommate: she always laugh by herself.
it may sound pathetic and creepy. well, maybe i am like that.
i got no fun life.
the dream i always have in university, it's long lost, at the moment i entered here.
if u know me back then, i'm an very active person. i joined and organized activities.
what makes me become THIS. i also wished to know.
people know me as a hyper crazy jolly girl. but what do they know about me deep inside. when i really need is just a hug.
it'll be another tough month for me... both exams are nearing. i just wished i don screw up both and allow my dad to have a chance to lecture on me.
tyy!!! u'll be alright, ya?! =/
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8:26 PM
Thursday, February 23, 2012
不会有完美的结局
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5:06 PM
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
struggling
still strongly hold on to the idea of surviving alone.
now, im still young. why should i just stick to a guy, when i got lot more things to do.
i admit, sometimes i felt lonely, i envy n jealous those that are in relationship.
but when i thought about being tied down by a guy, cannot do what my heart wants.
i'm not ready to settle down. i want to be wild...
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12:49 PM